Nah ,She Didn't!
by halffictionalprincess
Summary: Its their 7th year at Hogwarts and Lily Evans has begun to wonder if she really did hate James Potter. #Jily #Maurauders
1. Is something wrong?

Summary: Its their 7th year at Hogwarts and lily evans has begun to wonder if she really hates James Potter .

Disclaimer : Harry Potter solely belongs to J.K Rowling . And because the universe hates me I am not J.K Rowling

There was something wrong with her.

There had to be, thought Lily Evans , because why else would her eyes kept straying towards HIM. Towards James Potter. It had been just her luck that the only compartment left in the whole train was the one with Potter and his posse.

But the weird thing was, It was nothing like what she had expected when she had walked in the compartment He hadn't tried to flirt with her. Just a "hey Evans' and then he hadn't even looked at her . Not even once. No lines about her new hair style, no smartass comment about Severus .Nothing.

And it was good right? It was all she had wanted for the last six years, wished for it. Looks like her wish came true. Well it was one thing less to worry about this year with the war and the N.E.W.T's .

But then why did it bother her so much? It wasn't like he was her best friend. He wasn't even her friend. He was just an annoying part of her life , one she was glad was done with. Wasn't she? Then why did she feel so miffed about it? Why did it feel like she had just lost something very important. And why did the fact that maybe he didn't like her anymore cause a sinking feeling in her stomach.

She hated him, didn't she?

Yes, she did. Right?

This is my first fic ever so if you could review It would be totally awesome!

I'll be posting the next part very very soon!


	2. Giant Squid On Her Heart!

Author's Note: Second part here ! Thanks to everyone for the reviews ! I really ,really appreciate it!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to The queen and only the Queen! Ps- J.k Rowling is the Queen.

Chapter 2-Giant Squid on Her heart

Lily had always loved the first days,loved being back in Hogwarts, loved the smell of the new books With a start she realized that this was her last first day at Hogwarts. Sudden tears threatened to leak out and it took all she in her to not start crying right there in the Hallway.

No , Lily Evans won't cry because there was still a whole year left and there was noway could she live down crying in the hallway.

With a new determination she walked down the transfiguration classroom. It was almost half full when she reached .She went and took an empty seat in the corner and opened her bag to take out the textbook to read the first chapter. It was only a few minutes later when a loud laugh dragged her attention away , It was a laugh she knew. Potter and his posse had arrived .

She took this chance to study them without being caught. Potter had grown another few inches over the summer, Black looked taller too. Remus looked a little pale but then he was always pale,poor bloke. Peter looked a little thinner.

But it was Potter that grabbed her attention again. He was talking to black and hadn't even looked her way even once ,In the old days he would've been by her side ,annoying her by now but not today. She felt the same sinking feeling she had felt yesterday at that thought. His hair looked messier , the devil on her shoulder wanted her to run her finger through his hair but the angel made the same argument it had been making for the last six years, that once he had her it wouldn't take for him to break her heart and walk away leaving her alone and embarrassed.

Lost in her thoughts ,Lily did not realise that she had been staring and was caught by Remus ,heat flew up her cheeks as she met his eyes and she saw his eyebrows raised and a grin on his lips. She turned away . She hoped she wasn't blushing, but by her luck her cheeks would be as red as her hair by now.

Thank God, it had been Remus and not Pettigrew or Black or worse Potter. Her life would have been made hell if she had been caught staring at him and Potter knew. But well, Maybe it wouldn't make a difference to him now anyway . Why that thought was depressing she didn't know! Wasn't sure she wanted to know. The devil gave a whoop and demanded that she talked to him but the angel rushed to Keep him quite!

"Hey ,Lily" said a voice from behind and Lily turned to smile and talk to her friend Amanda . "Hey , Amanda. How are you? " She replied  
"Oh I am good, How was your summer ?, mine was nothing special but i played a lot of Quiditchch."  
"I just studied for the N.E.W.T's" Lily truthfully replied.  
"So I wanted to ask you something" said Amanda , as a telltale blush rose on her cheeks.  
"Oh Go ahead" Lily said, confused.  
"Is there something going on between you and Potter?"  
Of All the things Lily had expected Amanda to ask this wasn't one of them .  
"No , absolutely not" She replied quickly , not too quickly she hoped  
But even if she had Amanda was too busy staring at Potter to notice. She felt a ball of fire in her stomach, was she jealous? She refused to believe it could be true, Why should she be jealous Potter could date as many girls as he wanted She didn't care anyway.  
"Oh what...? No? Good then , you won't mind if I go out with him "  
" No not at all " Forcing a smile ,said Lily The devil snarled and the angel sighed as she watched Amanda walk away.  
Amanda could date Potter for as long as she wanted, Lily couldn't care less.!  
All this time , she realized, Potter had not even looked towards her once. And why that made her mad enough to rip him apart she didn't know!  
She realised that she did hate Potter just like she always had and always will.  
But then why did it feel as if someone had placed the Giant Squid on her heart? 

A/n Please ,please review even if its just to tell me I suck ! Pretty please?  
Part 3 coming up soon . How long would it take for Lily to finally admit it? And why has James changed so much? Wait , and see!


	3. WHY?

A/n- Thank You for reading the last two parts and coming for the third!

Disclaimer- Yeah, like I could own Harry Potter.

Chapter Three- WHY?

She wanted to kill him , she just didn't know why.

Lily walked down the hallway as fast as she could without actually running. Even the angel and demon were quite this time. She had the most rotten luck in the whole universe , WHY was it her who had to be on patrol on the first floor? WHY had she heard those voices coming from that classroom ? WHY did she have to walk in just right on time to see Amanda reach up and kiss Potter?  
And WHY did it feel as if her heart was breaking into a million little pieces?

"Evans, wait" She heard the voice, knew who it was but ,she couldn't stop. Couldn't because if she did , the look on his face would be enough to break the dam. She wouldn't be able to hold those tears any longer.

"Lily , wait" The catch in his voice made her stop and she turned to find him close enough to touch.  
"Let me ,Let me explai-'  
"There is nothing to explain Potter, not to me" she forced a laugh "for merlin's sake ,I'm sorry i ruined your moment with Amanda and before you ask don't worry I won't complain to McGonnagal  
so you can go back ,go on" she said as if she didn't care ,at least she hoped it seemed like that to him.

''Lily ,it isn't like you think,I was-" he tried to plead.  
She couldn't hear anymore ,knew that if she did , she just might believe those lies.  
"Really potter what else could her lips on yours mean? That she suddenly couldn't breathe and you were saving her life . Go on , It doesn't matter to me anyway" She forced a chuckle again.  
His eyes flared , but besides anger she could see something else in his eyes too , something that looked a lot like...like hurt.  
The she felt a hand grab hers and then she was suddenly pushed against the hallway wall.  
"It doesn't matter to you? Then why are you so angry with me?Why are your eyes filled with tears ?"  
"Let me go "She struggled , but he was stronger.  
"That's exactly what i'm trying to do Lily" he said in a defeated voice and the emotion in his voice made her freeze.  
" I love you ,Lily .I have , forever. But you haven't , all you've ever asked me to do is leave you alone .To let you go. And now that I've finally given up , you start to come around. When I finally decide to move on , you finally notice? I know you think I'm a bad guy , lily and I know that I've done things I'm not proud of, but Lily its always been you for me .You, forever." He whispered in her ears .  
It wasn't his words , but it was the way he said them with so much emotion what made her believe him.  
But her brain wouldn't work ,nor would her mouth .She couldn't do anything but stare at his pain stricken face .He looked like he was about to cry .But it instead he chuckled , a sad chuckle that broke another piece of her heart . It was her , her actions, words that made the guy who never let anything ruffle him , so broken. She could finally see the boy who had helped her find the way to the classroom in their first year behind the man standing in front of her. He still had those hazel eyes . But this time they weren't filled with mischief but with pain and tears. With grief. And it was all because of her.

He moved his face forward, she thought he was going to kiss her and she would let him.  
But he softly brushed his lips on her forehead then bent to her ears and said  
"I'll wait , I have for six years .. I'll wait for some more .And this time you will come to me  
take your time lily and just know i'll be here, forever waiting for you! And I'm not going to give up this time , not ever . Do you know why ? Because this time I know it won't be just me fighting for us!"

And then he left , without letting her say a word .Left .Left her alone with tears streaming down her face and her thought jumbled up inside her head

In that moment , she felt so much for him , but she couldn't tell if it was love or hate.

And she didn't know why.

A/N- Please please review !  
PS-Sorry for the cliffhanger.

Next and Last part will be up soon


	4. Run!

A/n-Turns out this story will be uploaded in 5 parts not 4 ! Hope You Like this

Disclaimer-It would take a flying pig and frozen hell for me to be able to own Harry Potter!

Chapter 4- Run!

Lily Confused Evans , she decided to rename herself..

She'd never thought that a person could be this confused. James words rang in her mind as she walked down the hallway to the common room. She knew he wouldn't be there, knew there was no way he was going to let anyone else see the state he was in. She spoke the password and entered to find an empty common room , That suited her just fine. All she wanted to be was alone.

She went and sat on the couch by the fire and stared at the night sky .Wishing the stars could give her some answers. Wishing she knew what to do. Wishing she couldmake sense of her thoughts, her feelings. But all the stars did was twinkle .

Lily wasn't the kind of girl that boys like James loved, she wasn't a pure-blood, she wasn't the most popular girl in school. She wasn't the prettiest or the one with the beautiful clothes.

She was just...Lily

But He still loved her. She didn't doubt that he did . Lily knew sincerity when she saw it. But the question was, could she love him back? Could she stop believing that one day he would decide that she was not good enough anymore? Would he –

"Evans, Why did you lie to me?"

Lily turned around to see an incredibly hurt looking Amanda Arnold.

"Amanda-"

"I thought we were friends, then why did you lie tome?" She asked , almost screamed the question

"About what-"

"Oh, don't act like that, why tell me that there was nothing between you and Potter ?"

"Amanda ,you have to listen to me there was –is- nothing between me and James-"Lily tried to explain through her guilt. How could she do this to Amanda, her friend?

" There is nothing?Then tell me why I had to kiss Potter first and even then he couldn't get out of there fast enough , tell me why he ran the second you walked away ? Tell me Lily" her voice softened , and the anger in her face vanished , as if she just realized something " why did you look like you were going to cry when you saw me with James? " Silence echoed through the room after Amanda's words , Lily didn't know the answers to Amanda's questions .

" Lily ," said Amanda in a kind voice " don't you see that the guy is so in love with you , he doesn't even look at other girls ? And that you are in love with him too? So in love with him , that you can't see straight?"  
Maybe it was Amanda's words or maybe it was just the feeling of elation that coursed through her when someone said that Jameswasin love with her . But a peice of the puzzle fit in her mind and she finally saw what she had been missing for the last six years. She knew that everything would work out . She just had to take this one step towards him . She had to fight for them right along with him. She wasn't confused anymore.  
Before Amanda knew what had happened Lily quickly rushed to hug her and then ran towards the boys dormitories, She knew she had to find him ,and she knew just the person to ask.

She didn't hate him, she loved him. She finally accepted it .

And this time she wasn't going to take just one step towards him . She was going to flat out run.

A/n – i know, i know its short! But i can't help it I don't have much time  
Please Please review !


	5. FOREVER

A/n- This is the End!

Disclaimer- The fact that I own Harry Potter is true. But only in my dreams!

Chapter-5- FOREVER

Pounding the door on Sirius Black's room at 1:00 am in the morning is not something Lily Evans had thought she would ever do.

Yet, here she was with a hope and doubt fluttering inside her.  
Hope that his friends would know where to find him. Hope that it wasn't too late . And doubt that it was.

When no one opened the door, Lily decided to take matters into her own hands and took out her wand and with a muffled "Alohamora" the door clicked and opened .

"Lumos" she whispered , and in the light she found Sirius black on his bed sleeping ,mouth half open and shirtless. She would've appreciated the sight if her mind wasn't fixed on Black's best friend.  
"Black , Black wake up' She tried to wake him up so that she wouldn't wake the others up ,because Lily Evans , in a boys dorm room at 1am in the morning would cause a scandal she wouldn't ever recover from.

But her soft whispers didn't work , but she was getting impatient , so she decided 'to hell with the scandal' and shoved him. Hard

He woke with a loud scream causing the boy sleeping on the next bed to fall out .

"What...?" said the boy , who Lily recognised as Remus Lupin  
Sirius swore , " Evans what – exactly- are you doing here?" he asked while at the same time Lupin stood up and looked shell shocked to see her.

Lily was beginning to get a little nervous , she hadn't really thought about what she was going to say to them.  
" I need.. I need you help" she said  
"Our help?" said Black looking puzzled .Lupin mirrored the expression .  
"Yah... I need to .. I need to find James- I mean Potter." She somehow got through the sentence. She saw the moment when what was happening sinked in a huge grin spread over Black's face and Lupin looked delighted . Lily felt a blush rise up, But she couldn't stop a small smile of her own.  
"finally? Huh?" said Lupin ,Black just stared at her with the mischievous look ,but she didn't have time .

"Please, I need to find him .. Do you have any idea where he might be ?" She askednervously  
Remus and Sirius shared a cryptic look in which, it looked like they had an entire conversation.

"Well, we could help you find him." Said Black "Just wait"  
She stood there,as Black took a piece of parchment out from beneath his pillow. Then saw him tap it with his wand and murmur something she couldn't hear and then what opened up looked like a map .It took her moment to realize it was a map of Hogwarts with tiny dots moving inside and those dots were ..w ere people.  
"What..? Where did you ?..How...?" Lily had about a thousand questions but this was not the time. And she wasn't sure these were answers she wanted to know.  
"You know what , don't. I'm not sure i wanna know." She said " Just tell me where James is ?'  
"I don't see him" frowned Black.  
Then Lupin pointed and said "There he is " She looked and ,it was true .She could see a small dot labelled "James Potter " He was at the astronomy tower. She ran towards the door , She couln't wait anymore. But turned around to go back and give both Lupin and Black a tight hug. Lupin blushed and Black grinned . She said " Thank You.. Both of you" And ran towards the door . This was it.

He was there.

Lily thought as she saw a figure lean against the railing on the astronomy tower. He was staring at the sky . Looks like he too, was asking the stars for help.  
She took a few steps towards him and was about two feet away from him when he turned and looked surprised to see her. But he closed the expression off as soon as it came over his face.  
Her heart pounding she decided to talk this time

"You left before I could say anything " She saw him opening his mouth , but she couldn't be interrupted , not this time " No , don't .It's my turn." He nodded and pretended to zip his lips  
She was nervous but if she couldn't say anything now , she would lose her chance at what could be real love.  
"You are one of the most arrogant, stubborn , infuriating people I've ever met . How many time have i asked you to leave me alone over the last six years ? Countless . But you never listened to me. Why now? All I've ever done is push you away but you always push back Why stop now? Why couldn't you have been just sincere and not the irritating flirt?" She closed her eyes , she couldn't see the blank look on his face as she said the next words " I love You james , I hate it that i do but I love you .  
And I know that I've hurt you , now and before and I'm so so sorry . And I know that you said that you would wait , But i get it if you can't . If you can't forgive –" But she couldn't get any more words out, as suddenly her lips were covered with his.

She was too shocked to do anything at first but then She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her close and put his arms around her back . She let herself get lost in this feeling . She felt as if she was the only girl on this planet . As if it was only them! But then it was over . Too soon for her.

" I love you , Lily and right now that's all that matters" He said , tightened his hold around her " Tell me you love me " He whispered in her ear .  
"I do and I will . Always " She said  
But he crinkled his nose and said  
" I've never liked that word , Always seems too, I don't know, like something old snivellus would say , For you and me ,Lets go with " He thought for a moment as lily rolled her eyes " Forever "  
She laughed then She smiled softly and said  
"Okay... I'll love you forever." And then she let herself get lost in his kissAnd as for the little matter of her hating him? Turns out that  
Nah, she didn't!  
The End of the Beginning!

A/n Thank You for reading! I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing!  
And I'm sorry for the last 'snivellus' bit but i couldn't stop myself  
Ps- Kudos to you if you read the " this is the end " in an adele voice  
P.P. S – If you are wondering about the whole "Nah , she didn't 'thing It was taken from the books from here –  
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

_Oh, well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around,' said Sirius, shrugging,_

'_he couldn't stop himself showing off whenever he got near her.'_

'_How come she married him?' Harry asked miserably. 'She hated him!'_

'_Nah, she didn't,' said Sirius_


End file.
